The Secrets We Keep
by raininginseattle
Summary: Izzie's Daughter shows up at Seattle Grace turning the lives of the doctors upside down. Izzie/Hannah, Mer/Der eventually and lots of other characters! Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy
1. Chapter 1

Izzie doesn't know what to think when her newly orphaned daughter shows up at Seattle Grace. Also lots of sub plotlines later.

**Chapter 1**

Izzie, Christina and Meredith waited outside the ER for the ambulances to come rolling in. There had been an accident out on the freeway and the ambulances were only five minutes away.

"Man do I need a cardio surgery right now. There has got to be someone in one of these ambulances that needs a surgery," Christina said impatiently, "Do you realize Callie has had Dr, Hahn over at _my_ apartment for the last five nights in a row and they are like talking and laughing and being happy and I haven't gotten a single surgery out of it?"

"Seriously, just tell Callie you don't want her over anymore," Meredith said.

"I can't! It's Dr. Hahn remember, the person that I have to suck up to for the next five years of my life just to get surgeries."

The ambulances came screaming in and the three women flew into action each taking charge of one of a family of three. Christina snagged a middle-aged woman who was bleeding everywhere while Izzie took charge of her husband. Meanwhile Meredith wheeled an unconscious eleven year old.

Christina hovered possessively by Dr. Hahn as she looked at the woman's CT scans.

"Alright Yang do you see all this damage, we need to get this woman into surgery now. Book an OR and get her to pre-op."

"Dr. Hahn do I –"

"Yes Yang you can scrub in just get on with it."

"Wait Yang, do we know this woman's name?" Dr. Hahn continued.

"No both husband and child are still unconscious and identification has yet to be located."

Izzie leaned against the door of the small, dark, room as the head CT's of the man slowly appeared on the screen.

"Alright Stevens this man needed to be in surgery two hours ago we need to get him into an OR now! go page Dr. Bailey and then come scrub in."

"And the family Sir?"

"Both are still unconscious and there doesn't seem to be any ID that didn't burn up with the car so all we can do right now is try to save this man's life."

"Yes Sir right away."

3 and half hours later

Dr. Hahn looked up, "Dr. Yang would you like to come and assist me."

"Yes, yes thank you Dr. Hahn, I would be honored."

"No need to make a ceremony out of Yang just get in here, this woman has been on the table for over three hours and she needs to come off bypass soon."

Over in OR two Izzie looked into the eyepieces while Derek worked over the man's open skull.

"No, no he's bleeding, people, Dr. Stevens I need suction, more suction Dr. Stevens, quickly."

"Dr. Hahn he's coding, Dr. Hahn."

"I know okay just a second I can't stop this now or I'll loose her, Yang, take the paddles."

"Yes Dr. Hahn." Cristina grabbed the paddles, the monitor giving out the long tone of a flat line."

"Darn it Stevens he's flat lining, get the paddle's Stevens.

"Charge to 200," yelled Izzie.

"She's not pumping, there's no pulse," Christina said laying down the paddles, "Do you want to call it Dr. Hahn?"

"Charge to three hundred," yelled Izzie again, "Come on come _on_."

"Dr. Stevens?" Derek asked.

"Time of death 6:16 p.m.," Dr. Hahn said laying down her tools.

"Time of death 6:16 p.m." Izzie replied, turning away from the table.

In both ORs nurses reached up and slowly turned off the monitors.

Meredith looked up from where she was standing at the foot of the bed and reading the girl's chart. The girl was lucky she had gotten away with nothing more than a few bruises and a cut to the head. Now, her blonde head bandaged up and wearing a hospital gown the young girl was waking up.

"Hello," Meredith said softly, "Are you feeling okay? I uh, need to ask you a couple of questions. Can you tell me your name?"

The little girl just looked blankly at her.

"Okay," puzzled Meredith, "Um I need you to follow my fingers, are you sure you're okay? I really need to know your name."

A tear slid down the girl's face. "Hannah," she said, "I'm Hannah Carson."

Author's Note: Hey please review hope you like the fic. I'm having a bit of trouble writing Dr. Bailey so any suggestions would be nice!!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

**Chapter 2:**

Izzie was lying on her back on a gurney with her eyes closed when George came and sat beside her.

"Hey, what have you been up to? Any good cases come in?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, "I got a woman with heaps of brain damage but she didn't make it out of surgery. What about you did you Meredith give you anything?"

"No, just some kid who's not even hurt. I hate being an intern again. If I was a resident I would get the _good_ cases."

At that moment Meredith sat down next to George and gave him a look.

"George is just mad because my sparkly pager privileges don't extend to all my interns."

"I'm not but seriously mer you don't even look to see which one looks the worst."

"By the way, how is your kid? Do we know her name yet?" asked Izzie.

"Oh yeah she's fine she woke us like twenty minutes ago her name is Hannah Carson she pretty bruised but she just lost her parents and-"

"Izzie, Izzie are you okay? Izzie?" George asked concerned.

"Yeah I uh just need to go somewhere uh um see you guys later." Izzie had gone stark white. She stood up and left as though in a trance.

Meredith and George looked at each other and shrugged. "What was that about?" he asked.

"Don't know maybe she's just having a bad day."

Izzie walked through the halls with her hands deep in her lab coat pockets. She didn't acknowledge anyone until she arrived at the children's wing.

"Uh could I have the room number for Hannah Carson," she asked a nurse.

"Um little blonde girl with the cut to the head, room 325 I think."

Izzie kept walking until she got to room 325. Inside was more cheerful than the other adult rooms and the little eleven year old inside was fast asleep. Her hair was splayed out on the pillows underneath a large bandage.

"Hannah," Izzie whispered to herself, "Oh Hannah what am I going to do."

Before she knew what she was doing Izzie ran away as fast as she could sprinting off back down the halls until she reached an on call room. She went inside and locked the door before sliding down to the floor and finally letting herself cry.

"Oh Sarah, Hannah, Sarah, what an I going to do."

Thirty minutes later she stood up. She had been given a second chance. She had already abandoned her daughter once. She sure as hell wasn't going to let it happen again.

Making her way back to Hannah's room she spied a man outside considering several papers. She recognized him vaguely from somewhere.

"Hi are you uh from social services?"

"Yes," he replied, "can I help you. You look like you've been crying."

"Yes, um I was wondering, are both of Hannah's parents dead."

"Yes, unfortunately and man am I in a jam all of our foster homes are filled up and I don't know where I am going to put her. The hospital says it is discharging her this afternoon."

"I was wondering-," she faltered then tried again, "I was wondering if- well if- well, okay I'm –I'm Hannah's birth mother and I was just wondering if I could maybe look after her for a few days?"

"You are the birth mother? Are you sure," the man looked shocked, "Well you must be Izzie Stevens, yes my god you are I can see it on your ID. Are you serious? What are the chances."

"Yeah I know and this is really weird for me too I don't even know what the hell I'm doing I just know I gave Hannah away for a reason and that reason doesn't exist anymore so I want to give it a chance."

"Well, I don't know, ordinarily no I couldn't let you foster her but if you were considering adoption. . ." he tailed off.

"If. . ." she said hopefully.

"Then yes I guess that would be okay. Of course it would only be temporary maybe for a week until foster space clears up; anything permanent would be decided later. Are you sure about this? This child needs a lot of love right now and I don't know if she's ready for another step after loosing her parents."

"Yes, I may not know what I'm doing but I love that girl and I'm her mother I can do this."

"Okay then Dr. Stevens can you step with me and sign these papers."

"Have you seen Izzie, Alex?" Meredith asked

"Nah not since before lunch."

It was evening and George was over for dinner because Lexie was out taking care of her Dad and Izzie still wasn't home. Just as Alex went upstairs to shower headlights rolled up the driveway and Izzie got out of the car. She staggered into the house and flopped on the couch where George and Meredith were sitting.

"Izzie," George asked, "Are you okay?"

Tears began to fall down Izzie's cheeks in silent fat drops. Meredith came and sat beside her and rubbed her back as Izzie began to cough and cry in great racking sobs. Finally they calmed her down enough to talk.

"Izzie," Meredith said slightly exasperated very concerned, "you have to talk to us."

"I- I," she sobbed, finally she got a grip on herself, "I have a daughter. Eleven years ago I got pregnant and I gave her away and oh it was the hardest thing I have ever done and I haven't seen her not since that day eleven years ago and then to day she comes in and her parents die and she has no where to go so I go and offer to take care of her and I take time off work and no and now I don't know what the _Hell_ I am doing."

"Wait you have a _daughter_," gasped George

"George," said Meredith fiercely, "Shut up. Okay Izzie go slower, now you have a daughter. Is she Hannah? Hannah Carson?"

"Yes- um that's her. You aren't mad, you aren't judging me?"

"Izzie," said Meredith, "I Meredith dark and twisty Grey has no right to judge you. I'm sure that you did what you thought was best in a very difficult situation. Now you say that you offered to take car of her are you sure, I mean can you handle that? Can she candle that? This is a lot for both of you."

"I um yes I'm sure. I mean no but I want to try I really want to try. Do you mind Meredith I mean it's your house. But I told Dr. Bailey and Chief and I took time off and they understand kind of. I mean I don't know I don't know anything right now."

"Of course I don't mind we can all get through this. Have you spoken to her?"

"No," Izzie started to cry again, "and I don't know if, what if she doesn't even want to see me. What if-"

"Okay now Izzie; here is what we are going to do. You and I are going to go to the hospital and we are going to talk to Hannah and if she wants to we will be bring her home. Okay?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Meredith and Izzie arrived at the Hospital and went straight to the Children's Wing Izzie waited outside while Meredith went in.

"Hannah," Meredith said softly opening the door, "How are you going. Do you remember me? I'm Meredith your doctor."

Hannah didn't look up she didn't respond but she was listening.

"Okay now I'm going to tell you about an idea and I know what's going on for you right now is really scary and awful and there is nothing so horrible in the world so if at any point you want me to stop I will go away and come back later. Okay?"

"Okay," said Hannah in a voice so soft Meredith could barely hear it.

"Okay, now do you know that you're adopted?"

Hannah nodded.

"Alright now I don't know how much you know about your birth mother but her name is Isobel Stevens and she works here in this hospital. Now as soon as she heard that you were here and what had happened to you she came rushing here and she offered to take car of you for a little while. If you want, okay, Hannah. Only if you want. So you don't need to make and decisions but do you think you might want to talk to her maybe?"

Hannah waited for what seemed an age. Then, almost imperceptibly she nodded.

"Okay then I'll send her in okay. Now I'm right outside if you need me."

Meredith left and Izzie headed in. Out in the hallway Meredith waited anxiously. Dr. Bailey walked past and stopped short when she saw Meredith.

"Grey!" she said, "Do you know what's going on with Stevens."

"No, Dr. Bailey I have no idea what's going on but right now I think we just need to be supportive and sort this mess out.

Inside the room Izzie shut the door behind her. She took a deep breath and looked at the girl in the bed.

"Hannah," she said, "Hannah, I am Isobel Stevens, or Izzie, just Izzie."

Hannah didn't say anything.

"Look Hannah I have no idea what it is like to be you right now and I don't expect you to forgive me or even try to like me. But I think that maybe we both need to make a fresh start and if you want I would really like to try to make it together."

Finally Hannah looked up at her. For a moment it looked as through she wasn't going to say anything but then she opened her mouth.

"Why? Why did this happen to me?"

"I don't know Hannah I really don't know."

"How Long?" Hannah asked.

"Just as long as you like, not a minute longer."

"Will Meredith be there?"

"Yes, yes she will, we live together."

Hannah paused, then, "Okay."

Back at the house George and Alex were desperately trying to make up a bed in the empty room. George had filled Alex in and they were both waiting for Izzie and Meredith's return.

"Alex!" George said for the hundredth time, "This isn't that hard it's making a bed."

"Shut up O'Malley, just because I didn't spend my childhood doing laundry like a nurse."

Before the two could continue bickering headlights drew into the driveway and they both threw themselves down the staircase to the door. In came Izzie looking tired and confused and after her came Meredith, in her tiny arms she staggered under a young girl who was fast asleep. Quickly Alex grabbed her out from under a weak Meredith and with the surprising tenderness with which he had borne Izzie after the prom he carried the small bundle upstairs. They all followed him up, Izzie in the lead. Alex laid her on the newly made bed. Izzie stood there looking at her daughter while the other three left.

Out in the corridor they stood in an awkward silence.

"What happened?" George asked finally.

"I don't really know I mean she agreed to come apparently so we wheeled her out and drove her home. She didn't talk or look at any of us the whole time. I think she's in shock and then when we got home she was asleep."

"What about Izzie?" asked Alex.

"I don't know we didn't talk much I think she's very confused."

"Man, did you even know she had a daughter?" asked Alex incredulous.

"No," said George, "No even me she was probably scared of what Christina would say.

"Or maybe she just wanted to keep it to herself," said Meredith thinking of her mother, "well I need to go back to the hospital I'm supposed to be on call tonight I was just home for a break."

Inside the room Izzie gazed at her daughter. With a shaking hand she reached out and brushed a strand of hair from her face. It was the first time she had touched her daughter for eleven years.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Meredith was at the hospital working at charts at the nurse's station when she felt someone looking at her.

"Derek," she said simply.

"Meredith, I, we, need to talk."

"No Derek, we don't, you and I broke up. You are going out with Rose and most importantly Izzie needs me right now. Right now it isn't about Derek and Meredith and their broken relationship, right now it's about Izzie, and so no we don't need to talk."

Meredith stood up and walked away leaving a very confused Derek behind. Just the Dr. Bailey walked up to Derek.

"Dr. Shepard," she said, "I think right now you need to step back and let her go. I don't know and I don't care about your relationship but that girl has been through a hell of a lot for her friend tonight and she doesn't have room in her head for you."

Back at the house Izzie lay on her bed staring at the ceiling. Downstairs Alex sat at the table looking aimlessly at the wood. In George and Lexie's apartment George lay on the ancient sofa and stared at the stolen sheets.

The next morning it was raining and cold. Meredith arrived home early from her shift just as Alex was leaving. The first thing she did was go up to see Izzie.

"Iz," she said softly, opening the door, "Can we talk?"

"I guess you have a right to know what's going on."

"I think that would help a lot."

"Okay," said Izzie, taking a deep breath, "when I was a kid I went to a rough high school, everybody acted like they were about twenty five, everyone took drugs and smoked and drank. So one day I found out I was pregnant and I freaked. I didn't even know who the father was. Getting rid of it wasn't and option, so I kept it and gave it away. I didn't here of her for ages until a little while ago she showed up at the hospital and needed a bone marrow transplant. I didn't even get to see her."

"Alright, thank you for telling me. Now do you have any idea what you want to do?"

"I want to adopt Hannah back, if she wants. I'm not doing anything she doesn't want."

"And what about work Izzie," Meredith said kindly.

"I don't know, I mean she's in school, and I guess I could get a nanny for her and talk to the chief about rearranging my schedule."

"And also Izzie if you really want to do this we're here for you. I will look after her when I'm home and Alex will help too. I'll make him. Remember your not alone Iz."

"Thank you mer. I want to try and make this work."

"Okay now do you want to go see if Hannah is awake?"

"Yes, yes I'll go do that."

Izzie knocked softly on the guest room door.

"Um, Hannah, are you there?"

The room was empty. Quickly Izzie left and went outside. Meredith saw the fear in her eyes and they both looked around desperately. Then, as one their eyes rested on the shut bathroom door and Alex knocking impatiently on it.

"What hey what are you doing out here," asked Alex, "Who's in there then?"

Wordlessly the two women went to the door and quietly Izzie opened it. Lying on the floor was Hannah. Izzie shut the door behind her and lay down next to her daughter.

"Um Hannah, can i get anything for you? Do you want to get up?"

Hannah just looked at her blankly. She didn't talk or even seem to see Izzie. She was ignoring her with ever fibre of her body.

"Um Hannah, do you want me to go away."

Almost imperceptibly Hannah nodded.

"Okay do you want to see anyone? Maybe Meredith?"

Again Hannah nodded.

"Okay I'll send her in."

Out in the hallway Izzie leaned against the wall while Meredith hovered around her anxiously.

"Iz, what did she say?"

"You," Izzie sighed, "She wants to see you."

"Um, um okay Iz, I'm sorry maybe because she's my patient, I don't know why."

"Just, go. This isn't about me and bonding with my daughter right now. It's about getting her through her pain. And remember how you helped me. Maybe you could help her."

Meredith went into the bathroom and lay down beside Hannah. She was crying now. Silent tears sliding down her cheeks.

'I -," muttered Hannah, "I- I don't know it just feels like. . ."

"Like everything is moving too fast and your just stuck there?" said Meredith.

"Yeah," said Hannah, "yeah it's exactly like that. How did you- how do you-"

"Know what it feels like?" supplied Meredith, "because of Izzie. Did you know that last year her fiancée died from a heart attack less than a day after they got engaged. Izzie was going to this ball thing and she found him dead just lying there in his hospital gown."

Meredith paused.

"What happened," Hannah asked choking back tears.

"She did exactly what you did. She came home and lay here on the floor of this bathroom. She didn't shower or even change. She was still in ball gown."

"I just feel so alone, like everyone is out there and doesn't know what this feels like. What I'm going through. I feel dead, empty like my insides were wrenched out and replaced with new ones and those new ones are Izzie."

"Listen to me Hannah," said Meredith, "I don't know what you're going through. I've had my share of dark and twisty moments but what your going through is different. But Izzie, she understands, Hannah, she does. You could talk to her if you want because she knows what this is like for you."

Meredith paused again.

"Oh and another thing Hannah," she half whispered, "You're not alone."

Authors Notes: Hey thanks for the reviews I got this up as soon as possible! PLease Keep Reviewing!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Oh and another thin Hannah," Meredith said softly, "You're not alone."

Hannah looked at Meredith and then back at the ceiling.

"Do you- do you really think I should talk to her, I mean Izzie. Because you know she, she abandoned me."

"I know what it feels like Hannah," said Meredith.

"Do you?" said Hannah sarcastically. All of a sudden her tone turned from sad to angry. "Do you really know what this feels like Meredith because I don't think that you do. Yesterday I had a family. A real family and now I have no one and you think that you know what that feels like. Yesterday I didn't even know my birth mom's name and now I'm on her bathroom floor spilling out my secrets to her friend who also happens to be my doctor. Do you know what that feels like Meredith? Do you?"

"No." said Meredith simply, "I don't and I'm sorry I said that. But I have news for you. Izzie loves you and she is trying to make this work and a mum who loves you who isn't pressuring you into anything and is being so sweet in lovely is a hell of a lot better than some people have."

"You think so do you."

"No Hannah I know so. I grew up with a mother who wouldn't give me the time of day. I grew up with a mother who didn't even attend my graduation because she had an appendectomy. An appendectomy Hannah, do you know how basic that is, how many doctors could have performed that surgery and she chose it over my graduation. So you had a mother that loved you so much she gave you up so you could have a better life than she could give you. You get bonus points for that but you don't get to not give her a chance."

Hannah paused for a minute shocked.

"I'm sorry," she said starting to cry, "I'm so, so sorry I'm – I'm." she choked.

"That's okay you have been through so much and you are right I don't know what it is like to be you and I am sure it is really terrible but do you think maybe that you could give her a try."

"Yeah, you're right I, I need to try, to make a fresh start."

"Okay then," said Meredith.

"I'm ready," said Hannah.

And slowly Hannah stood up with the aid of Meredith and stood there in a pathetic heap of grief while Meredith turned on the shower and got a fresh towel and ever so gently closed the door behind her.

Outside Meredith looked at the expectant Izzie and Alex.

"She's ready," is all she said.

……………………………………………………………………………..

Twenty minutes late Izzie was down in the kitchen baking. She was making pancakes and scones and muffins and goodness knows what else. She had no idea what Hannah would want so she was making every kind of breakfast food she could think of.

"Thanks again mer," she was saying, "You may be the queen of dark and twisty world but you sure do know how to get people off the bathroom floor."

"Hey, no problem," said Meredith, "Besides I've had practice."

"Speaking of which have you told Christina?"

"Well um, I kind of hinted, I thought it would give her some time to get used to the idea. Sorry." Meredith made a face.

"That's okay just how did she take-"

Just then a small disturbance at the door to the kitchen made them all look up. Seeing who it was a huge smile filled Izzie's face.

"Hi" she said.

"Hey," Hannah said shyly.

"Um do you want something to eat, I have blueberry and strawberry and raspberry muffins and scones and pancakes and eggs and bacon and waffles and anything you want I'll make."

"Uh okay waffles," said Hannah.

"Oh Waffles I love waffles too. Yay!" said Izzie giving her little nervous Yay! That she always said when she was out of place.

Taking the plate proffered to her Hannah sat down across from Meredith and next to Alex. She looked shy and awkward as though she didn't exactly know what to do. Meredith spoke up breaking the silence.

"Hi Hannah, did you have a good shower?"

"Um yeah, it was good.

"I just realized we barely even know each others names," said Izzie, "So do you want us to tell you a bit about ourselves Hannah? Then maybe you could tell us a little about you."

Hannah nodded.

"Okay well my name is Isobel Stevens and I live here in Seattle, I'm a surgical resident at Seattle Grace. I grew up in a trailer park and put myself through med school modeling. Okay mer you're turn lets stick the facts and not get all dark and twisty!"

"Alright, I'm Meredith Grey and I own this house here. I'm also a surgical resident and I grew up in Boston with my mother Ellis who just died. I'm just getting out of a relationship and I just went into counseling."

"Hey, I'm Alex Karev and I live here too, ditto about the job and what not. I grew up with an alcoholic dad and I wrestle as a sport. I'm not very nice but I'm always honest." He said, then turning to Izzie he continued, "and I totally just said that for you. Can I leave now because I'm late and Yang is going to sang all the good cases."

"Thank you Alex," said Izzie sweetly.

"Okay," said Meredith. "We need to sort a few things out and then maybe we can talk some more."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"So Hannah," said Meredith, "Do you have any relatives?"

"Um, no, not really, I mean Mom and Dad were only Children and my only grandparent is in a nursing home because he's too old to look after himself."

"And what about you're house? Where do you live?"

"We were, um moving, that's why we were in an accident, the guy driving the moving truck went off the road and we rammed into him. I um think that maybe, maybe the truck burned up so I don't know maybe I- I don't have anything left."

I zzie could tell this conversation was getting to be too much for Hannah so she shot Meredith a warning look.

"Alright Hannah, you're doing really well, one more question okay?" said Meredith, "Did you guys have any close family friends, you know people who you see a lot maybe spend Christmas with?"

"Yeah," said Hannah, "The Grey's, just like your name. Um Susan and Thatcher Grey. Only Susan died last year and we haven't seen them since. We always had Christmas with them. Uncle Thatcher was really nice. Every time I ask about them Dad just says- said that we weren't friends any more and-"

But she stopped seeing the shocked glances which passed between the two doctors.

"Mer," said Izzie worriedly, "Are you okay? Do you um want to go-?"

"Yeah," said Meredith, "I'm, fine, fine. I'm just going to go to work and you two can talk and do whatever. And I'll see you. Okay. Okay, I'm fine."

And she left looking as un-fine as ever.

"What was that all about," asked Hannah, confused.

Izzie didn't reply. She was looking worriedly after her friend.

…………………………………………………………………………..

At the hospital Meredith walked around in a daze looking for one person, her person. Finally she found her in surgery and waited up in the gallery for it Christina to finish. Half an hour later Meredith caught up with Christina as she left the scrub room.

"Holy crap, you look like you just found out McDreamy and Rose were getting married."

"Okay seriously! Do you like hate me or something?"

"Sorry, sorry okay whatever, I'll be supportive, alright I'm supportive."

"Okay you know Izzie's daughter that's staying at my house and bonding with my roommate and like moving on and being all strong and stoic?"

"Yeah, the one that's going to make Izzie join the 'baby squad'."

"Yeah well, I just found out that her family and my dad's family are like freaking best friends. My freaking father cared more about Izzie's illegitimate child than me. My freaking father!"

Meredith was yelling now and the whole hallway had turned to look at her.

"Okay Mer, so your dad was a McJerk, whatever, we already knew that."

"That's no the point, the point is that my stupid McJerk of a father liked everyone on the freaking planet better than me."

And suddenly something inside Meredith snapped. All the feelings she had been keeping inside of her ever since she and Derek had broken up. All the feelings she had kept bottled up during that last long twenty four hours. Came flowing out and she started to cry in great sobbing gasps.

Christins stood there shocked and then quickly grabbed her arm and dragged her into the nearedt on-call room.

"Okay Mer, please don't cry. I can't handle crying. Meredith, don't cry. Come on somebody else do this Izzie or McDreamy is supposed to handle the crying," Christina muttered to herself, panicking.

"Okay Meredith," said Christina, in a desperate voice, "I'm going to go find someone okay?"

Meredith just sobbed harder. And Christina, a look of absolute terror on her face ran out of the room. She looked wildly around faced with the alternatives of leaving her best friend and dealing with a sobbing mess. Neither looked too appealing. She stared around looking for someone to help.

"Three!" she yelled desperately, "Bambi, Alex! Oh come on some one. Lexie, anyone!"

"Dr. Yang?" said Lexie from behind her, "Is something wrong, what's going on?"

"Oh thank god," said Christina, grabbing Lexie's arm. Lexie looked confused she had never seen her usually emotionless resident look so terrified. Christina flung the door open to the on-call room. Meredith was curled up on the bed gasping for air in between sobs.

Christina looked pleadingly at Lexie and said, "Please just do something. I can't, I can't handle crying. And she's my person and just do something."

Christina left the room, leaving Lexie with Meredith. Lexie reached out to touch her sister on the should but Meredith turned away quickly.

"Okay Meredith, what's going on?

But Meredith didn't reply. Confused and worried Lexie sat at the foot of the bed and decided to wait it out.

Derek Shepard looked up form his surgery to meet the eyes of Rose across the OR. George and Alex ran out to meet blaring sirens as ambulances pulled into the OR. Chief Webber smiled as he passed Dr. Bailey on in the hall. Izzie stared at Hannah across the table, alone at last. Christina sat in the hallway outside the on-call room feeling utterly helpless. And inside Lexie sat at the foot of a bunk as Meredith cried and cried every last tear she had left.


	7. Chapter 7

Izzie stared at Hannah across the table, Hannah stared back

Izzie stared at Hannah across the table, Hannah stared back.

"I um I believe in happy endings," said Izzie

Hannah's expression of confusion just deepened.

"I'm just saying, I believe in happy endings," said Izzie again, "I mean you must have wondered why I gave you up. And I'm just saying I believe in happy endings.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"No," said Izzie, "It doesn't. What I'm trying to say is. When I found out I was pregnant it shattered my belief. I knew, that if I kept you, my baby, that neither of us had a very good shot at a happy ending."

"You could have given it a shot."

"I could have, you're right. I was a coward. I took the easy way out and I regret it. I have always regretted it. There was this woman once who was having surgery to have her breasts and ovaries removed so she wouldn't get cancer. I told her she had three options. I said she could take her chances, get cancer and die, she could go into surgery and loose her breasts and ovaries or she could take her chances, get cancer and fight like hell to survive. I think maybe I was really talking about myself. I should have taken that third chance. I should have fought harder."

"But you wanted a happy ending."

"I wanted a happy ending, and I didn't want to work for it. So I gave you away. And I guess the ending wasn't so happy after all. I- Hannah you just got to believe me. All I wanted was what I thought was best for you. And for me, I won't lie. I just- I just I wanted a happy ending."

…………………………………………………………………………..

Meredith's sobs had become softer and Lexie was on the verge of dozing off when Meredith finally turned over to look at Lexie.

"When George came home last night, what did he say?"

Lexie looked confused, "Nothing he was asleep and he left early before I got up this morning."

"Do you know Hannah Carson?"

Lexie's confusion became more apparent, "Of course, I grew up babysitting her and her adopted parents were like family to us. They came over like every Sunday."

Silent tears ran down Meredith's face, "and your Dad did he like her?"

"Yeah, he loved her. He was like a daughter to him. They used to spend hours playing games, that is until Mom died, we um, didn't see them after that, except at the funeral."

Meredith turned away again trying to control the sobs that were threatening to start again.

"Meredith, um is something going on? Is it something with Dr. Shepard it seems like you were fine, I thought you were okay I even saw you went to counseling?"

"I did, I am I'm- I'm fine it's just- it's just I'm so sick of being fine. And it's not really Derek- but- but it is. I can't keep doing this I can't keep going. And that stupid nurse. I thought he loved me. I really did and Lexie, oh why am I even telling you this, and why if he loved me did he find it so easy to move on and go out with a nurse. A _nurse _Lexie, I can't –I can't- I don't want-"

'Shhh, Meredith its okay, come on its all right. He did love you, he did and that nurse is nothing to him. You can tell. You can tell by the way he looks at you and the way he ignores her when she's around. Shhh, Meredith its okay."

"I was ready, Lexie, I really was, I was ready to commit I even told him, said it to his face. Oh Lexie I was ready, -I- I was ready."

"I know, I know it isn't your fault. Things will work out."

"Really Lexie? That's what I thought too I thought maybe your- our Dad just didn't want to see me because he only wanted you and Molly, I thought he just wanted to be with his family and move on. But Hannah, Hannah Lexie. And I feel so horrible, I've gotten so mean and evil and the poor girl is at my house and she just lost her parents and now she's with Izzie. And poor Izzie this isn't how she should have met her daughter."

"Wait Hannah's at your house and she's Dr. Stevens' daughter and she- and her parents are dead?"

But Meredith had resumed crying and wasn't going to talk anymore.

Lexie went out into the hallway and saw Christina still terrified sitting on the floor.

"We need to take her home, I'll go. Do you- um do you know about Hannah."

"Um yeah Izzie's daughter, yeah she's at Meredith's house that's why Meredith got all sad and started crying. Is she okay Lexie?"

"She's fine, I'm going to take her home. Is that okay Dr. Yang?"

Suddenly Christina went back to normal the panic left her and she stood up.

"That's fine Dr. Grey; I'll go speak with Dr. Bailey."

She set off down the hall leaving Lexie behind her. Just as she was about to turn the corner, she looked back at Lexie.

"Um- can you tell Meredith that I'll come see her after my shift." She said and then paused. Finally she turned back once more, "And Dr. Grey, thank you, I don't do hugging or crying and she- she's my person. Just thank you."

……………………………………………………………………….

Back at the house Izzie looked up at Hannah.

"You wanted a happy ending," Hannah said finally.

"Yeah, yeah I did."

"You were kind of a coward you know."

"I know."

"I think maybe, maybe we both should, could take the third option."

"I'd like that."

Just then Meredith's truck pulled into the driveway and Lexie got out and opened the door for Meredith, both still in their scrubs.

The two women walked into the house just as Izzie and Hannah came to see who it was. Meredith, tear streaks covering her cheeks was caught in an embrace by Izzie.

"I'm so sorry Iz, I'm so sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for mer."

"We can get through this Iz we can. I can."

Izzie wasn't really sure which 'this' Meredith was talking about.

"Lexie," said Hannah incredulously.

"Hannah," said Lexie. The two stepped forward and then Hannah was crying into Lexie's shoulder and Lexie was rocking her back and forth on holding her tight and saying, "Shhh, Hannah, it's going to be okay. It really is we are all going to get through this. We are going to make it."


	8. Chapter 8

It was late at night at Meredith's house. Izzie was staring at the television screen without seeing what was on it. Hannah and Lexie were up in the guest room. Meredith was lying on her bed staring at the ceiling.

A scooter pulled into the driveway and Christina entered the house without knocking. She ran upstairs without so much as a hello to Izzie and burst into Meredith's room.

"Hey," she said to Meredith.

"Christina," said Meredith.

"Okay Meredith," she said, "I'm- I'm- I'm sorry. Okay fine I'm sorry it's just I can't handle the whole sobby weepy thing. Okay. I can do dark and twisty just not sobby and weepy."

"You know when we first met and we had that fight and you said, 'you know we don't have to do that thing where you say something and then I say something and then we cry.'"

"Yeah."

"We really don't"

"Oh thank god. I was seriously worried. Alright I'm going, Callie has Hahn over again so I'm going to go act all happy and girly."

"Ugh."

Christina turned to go and just as she was closing the door Meredith turned to face her and said, "Christina."

"Yeah."

'You're still my person."

"Whatever."

"Yeah, Whatever."

And then smiling, Christina left the room.

…………………………………………………………………….

Lexie looked across the room at Hannah. She looked small and broken inside like had built up a wall and upon seeing Lexie all the stones had turned into jelly.

"Hannah, you can talk to me you know."

"I- do you know Izzie."

"Kind of. I mean Meredith is really her friend but I kind of know her I guess."

"Will you- tell me about her."

"Um okay. Well she's super pretty, just like you and she does this thing where she laughs and says Yay every time she gets nervous. I think. That's what Meredith said. And she really cares about her patients. I mean really, everyone says she gets too close to them. And- well I really don't know her Hannah. I'm really sorry."

"That's okay. Lexie."

"Yeah."

"Can you? Um do you know where Thatcher is?"

"Oh Hannah, I'm so sorry Thatcher, he um, isn't really seeing people right now he's sick. Very sick and Meredith and I we can't really talk too him much-"

"What does Meredith have to do with Thatcher?"

"Oh, you um don't know?! Oh um Meredith and I are sisters' half sisters. You know how Thatcher was divorced. She's his other kid."

"So Meredith is like your family."

"I guess. We are kind of getting close."

"Do you think she could tell me about Izzie," Hannah asked desperately.

"Um not now Hannah, you see she kind of had a really tough day. You know how sometimes people can't take things anymore and they snap. Yeah, that was kind of what happened to Meredith."

"Because of me?"

"No, not really, because of dad and um Derek and all sorts of things. But Hannah, if you really want to hear about Izzie. You should talk to George. He's like her best friend and he's really nice. Do you want me to get him?"

"Um, will you stay when he's here."

"Of course."

……………………………………………………………………..

George and Lexie arrived at Meredith house half an hour later. George came in through the familiar door and looked at Izzie.

"Um, Izzie, are you okay?"

"George."

"Yeah its me. Oh George, I- I believe in happy endings."

She started to cry softly, she looked confused and hurt like someone had hit her around the head and then given her chocolate. George walked slowly over to her and pulled her up and hugged her around the middle letting her cry on his shoulder.

"I know you do Iz, I know you do."

"Why George? Why is my daughter talking to everyone but me why isn't she talking to me?"

"She just needs some space. And you know what Izzie I'm going up to talk to her and you know what I'm going to say?"

"I'm going to tell her you are the best friend anyone can have. And that you have had so much crap happen to you and you don't even care. How you worry about everyone else and don't even think about yourself. That's what I'm going to tell her."

He gently led Izzie up to her room and lay her down on her bed. Then softly he left and headed to the guest room.

"Hannah," he said softly, "Hey, I'm George, George O'Malley."

"You know Izzie?"

"Yeah, I know her really well."

"Can you tell me about her?"

"Sure. Izzie, is, well she's Izzie. She arrived at Seattle grace on her first day and she was so friendly to everyone. I mean everyone, even Alex Karev who's like a complete jerk. And she – well there was this time when Meredith was up in the OR with her hand on a bomb, and Izzie turned to me and she said, "We have to be doers George," and then she stood up and she went off to be a doer. And she's oh she's had her heart broken like a million times, like with Denny, and Alex, and with me. But you know what she always comes back. She never stops smiling. There's a clinic you know that she formed with the money Denny left her. She could have had anything in the whole world and she gave it all away. She even spilt orange juice on it. And like stuck it to the refrigerator for like three weeks. Oh and she loves, Christmas, and Thanksgiving."

"I like Christmas."

"That's a start. You know I could tell you a million things about Izzie, like how funny she is and how she makes really bad decisions sometimes, but I'm going to tell you one thing and that is this; Izzie Stevens is my best friend in the world and if I was going through a tough time, there is no one else, I would want on my side than her."

"George,"

"Hannah."

"Could you can you go tell her something for me."

"Yup."


	9. Chapter 9

George opened the door to Izzie's room

George opened the door to Izzie's room.

"I have a message from Hannah," he said laying down on the bed next to her, "She says- she says she believes in happy endings too."

They lay there on their backs just staring up at the ceiling. The door opened again and Meredith came in and lay down on the other side of George.

"Seriously," she said.

"Seriously," laughed Izzie.

And George reached up and patted them on the shoulders making shushing sounds.

………………………………………..

The next morning Lexie, Meredith and George drove to work together in high spirits. They left the house just as Izzie knocked on Hannah's door.

"Okay, Hannah. I need to get you into school tomorrow. So you can settle in for a while. That is if you want to stay."

Hannah nodded.

Izzie smiled her biggest smile saying, "Okay so we'll call the local school and– um do you like school Hannah?"

"I don't know, I guess some days I like it, some days I hate it."

"Why?"

"I doesn't matter."

"Yes it does, okay tell you what. I'll tell you what school was like for me then you can tell me about your old school."

"Okay."

"Well when I was at school I was the popular girl. I'm not bragging it's just how it was. But at the same time I loved school. And because I was pretty everyone, even the teachers thought I was dumb. So some days, I loved school, my friends, learning everything. But some days I felt like everyone thought I was someone I wasn't and that they didn't care who I really was."

"That's- that's kinda the same for me."

"I thought it might be. You seem really smart and you're- you're really pretty too."

"Um- thanks," said Hannah blushingly.

"So do you think you want to start tomorrow maybe?"

"That- I guess- okay."

"Alright I'll make the call and then if you want I'd really like to take you shopping. For school supplies and clothes and maybe some stuff to put in this room, cause mer, she really doesn't know how to decorate and you can bet she doesn't have any kid stuff."

"I think- I would like that."

"Okay," said Izzie smiling her biggest smile, "Okay oh Yay! This is going to be soo fun!"

……………………………………………………………………

Meredith was doing charts at the nurse's station when her shiny pager went off.

"Bailey," she sighed. Setting off down the hallway she quickly found the chief resident surveying the OR board.

"You, I talking now, in the office," Dr. Bailey said motioning to the residents locker room and her office beyond. They went in wordlessly and sat down. "All right Grey we are going to discuss two things. First of all what the heck is going on with Izzie Stevens."

"I thought you don't care about our personal live."

"Oh no, oh no you don't get to get smart with me Grey, I am one resident short for a week, I'm overworked and I haven't seen my child awake in twenty four hours. Just, just answer the question Grey."

"She's coping, with her daughter and all, I think Lexie is helping since she and Hannah knew each other. And Izzie's seeing about school tomorrow so she can go back to work."

"Alright. Can you tell her if she needs any help or babysitting I know a really good person and I also know a bit about parenting."

"Seriously!"

"Seriously Grey."

"Yes, I'll tell her then, um you said there was a second thing?"

"Yes, it's time for you to decide your specialty, Christina has gone for cardio, so unless your heart is set on it I wouldn't even go there, Karev is into plastics and is already set up with Sloan and Izzie obviously isn't up to making a decision right now. Which leaves you Grey. The thing is we will try to assign you to your chosen service whenever possible which means Christina will be with Hahn lots while Karev will be spending time with Sloan."

"Well Dr. Bailey I've been thinking a lot and I think I want to specialize in neurology."

"Are you sure about that Grey?"

"With all due respect Dr. Bailey if you think I'm going to change my career because of relationship problems you would be very mistaken. Besides I don't want to do general."

"Because of your mother."

"Yeah," sighed Meredith, "Because of my mother."

"Okay then Grey I will consult Dr. Shepard to discuss your potential and whether he will teach you."

"That's all I can ask."

"It sure is."

"Goodbye Dr. Bailey," Meredith laughed. She turned to leave the room.

"Oh and Grey," said Dr. Bailey, " you're a good surgeon, a really good one, you'll be a great, and Grey, it isn't because of your mother."

As Meredith left the office a smile on her face Bailey called after her, "You did not just here me say that."

"No ma'am," Meredith said sincerely.

Okay sorry about the wait. Please, please review!! You have no idea how many people read this and don't review!!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Izzie was on hold waiting for the phone to be picked up.

"Hello, are you still there?" a voice on the other line said.

"Yes, hello, my name is Isobel Stevens and I have an eleven year old daughter, I'm looking to register at this school."

"Okay Mrs. Stevens, what is your daughter's name?"

"Um, Hannah, and its Dr. Stevens."

"Okay Dr. Stevens, if you want to come in with your daughter tomorrow morning and fill out the necessary forms Hannah can start tomorrow."

"That's great, and is it okay if she is possibly only a temporary student?"

"Of course, we have many of those; we will just try to integrate her as much as possible."

"Um, thanks, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Alright, goodbye, Dr. Stevens."

Izzie got off the phone and looked over at the stairs, Hannah was coming down, still dressed in the clothes that she had been in the accident in.

"Okay Hannah, are you ready to go?"

"Um, okay."

Hannah and Izzie headed out the door to Izzie's car and got in. They drove to the mall in silence still awkward in each others company.

"Alright, um what is your favourite store?" Izzie asked when they arrived.

"I don't know mostly my mom shopped for me."

"Okay, well let's just look around then."

They walked through the mall past all the stores Izzie usually shopped at until they arrived at a store that looked suitable. Izzie flew into action, she was an expert shopper and best of all she still had a million discounts from when she had been a model.

"Hey Hannah, look at this it's really cute, oh we need to get you jeans, everyone needs a pair of jeans, oh and lots of tops, I hear that people wear like a different shirt everyday these days."

"Um, Izzie?" Hannah muttered.

"Yeah?"

"I've, um, I've never really been shopping before."

"What?! I mean why- how did you get all your clothes?"

"My- my mom bought them."

"Okay," said Izzie understandingly, "Well, I'll just have to show you. Sao what you do is just look through the racks until you find something that you like or think is pretty and then you take it into the changing rooms and try it on."

They looked in silence for a while, Izzie had a heap of hangers and clothes on her arm, but Hannah still hadn't picked anything out. She seemed to be staring at something finally she reached out and picked up a short blue, dress.

"Um, Izzie," she said worriedly, "what about this one?

"Oh, Hannah, that's gorgeous, it's perfect for school, in summer, do you want to go try it on now?"

……………………………………………..

Meredith showed up at work early that day, all of the first year residents (except Izzie) were meeting with Bailey to discuss things and then privately with their chosen attending and Dr. Bailey. In the locker room Meredith met Christina who looked faintly worried.

"What's up?"

"Hahn," sighed Christina, "What if she doesn't want to teach me, what if she tells Bailey she won't do it?"

"Christina!" sighed Meredith, "You're worried about your resident? Come on I'm with Derek, well not with, with he's with Rose and sure we did the clinical trial and all and we're like moving on but I still can't get him out of my head, and he's still around all the time and even though he is with Rose-"

"Meredith," sighed Christina patiently.

"Sorry, the point is I'm still way more screwed up than you."

"Thanks, lets go."

"Seriously! You need to get something new to boast your self confidence."

"Ah, but this works so well, besides I don't need my self confidence raised."

"Fine lets go."

They walked into the conference room where Derek, Bailey, Chief, Hahn and Alex were waiting. They sat in awkward silence for what seemed like and sage waiting to start.

"Where the hell is Sloan?" Bailey asked annoyed.

"I'm here," said Mark sliding into the room, "Sorry, I was ah, shall we say preoccupied."

"We don't care what you were doing," said Bailey, "let's get started."

"All right," said Chief, "Here's how this is going to work, every other shift will be normal, we will have a rotation as to who you get, and you will work in all areas, but the shifts in between you will be assigned to your chosen specialty. Since Stevens, is not here nothing is finalised but this how it will work for now.'

…………………………………………………………..

"Hannah," Izzie called anxiously from outside the curtained changing room, "do you want to show me?'

There was no reply. Izzie reached out and slowly pulled back the curtain. Hannah's, sweatshirt and weird old corduroys were lying on the floor. Hannah stood in front of the mirror revelling in her own appearance.

"Oh Hannah," breathed Izzie, "You look beautiful."

_Just like me when I was young _she thought.

Author: Okay the next chapter isn't going to be much Izzie/Hannah, more other residents and the attendings. Hope you liked it. Please, please review. Sorry about the wait.


	11. Chapter 11

Bailey, Hahn and Christina sat across from each other around a table

Bailey, Hahn and Christina sat across from each other around a table. Bailey looked at both of them exasperated.

"Dr Hahn," she said patronizingly, "Do you think you can teach Christina to be a good heart surgeon?"

Dr. Hahn didn't look at her.

"Okay Christina, are you willing to learn from Dr. Hahn?"

Christina didn't react. Bailey threw up her hands.

"Fine, fine, I give up on you two I dust my hands of both of you. You know what the problem is with you two fools is that you're too damn proud. Get over it already. I'll be outside. When one of you finally starts talking let me know."

She left the room muttering darkly. Christina and Hahn stared at each other neither willing to break the silence. Finally Hahn stood up and faced the wall.

"The chief," she said slowly, "Told me what you said during the thing with the nurses union."

She paused.

"I apologize."

She took a breath and continued, "The thing is you and me, we are the same, we're robots, we don't have many friends, and we are the same."

Christina still didn't say anything.

"You see the thing is Yang, I love cardio, I've always wanted to be in cardio, ever since ever, and when I met you, I thought here is a girl that doesn't really like cardio, she just has done heaps of it because she went out with an attending. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you crossed a line there Yang and I detested you for it."

"I thought when you saw how much I didn't like you, you would give up, go work in neurosurgery or plastics, but you didn't. And that made me even angrier. But then two things changed my mind, first the thing with Burke when we were outside the OR and I was down talking him you just stood there and didn't say anything. And it wasn't because you were a better person than me, because you aren't but that wasn't the silence of someone who's annoyed because the guy you screwed it moving on without you. That was the silence of betrayal, of being in love, as in love as someone like you or me can be, and then having it all taken away. Of being the one thing that saved that person you loved and not getting a bit of recognition. Am I right?"

"Fine don't say anything, you are right not to because that is the second thing, what you said to Chief is true, you were his hand and now, now you are a ghost, and that is unbearable. And you bore it. And that convinced me, there can only be one reason why you bore it, and that is because you love cardio. And because you love cardio, yes, Yang, I will teach you."

Finally Christina looked up, the barest reflection of tears glimmering in her eyes.

"What you did to me, your twisted test to see if I like cardio enough. That was unfair, it hurt and it was mean. But you are right, and because, because I love cardio, yes, I will let you teach me."

Hahn looked incredulous, she was after all an attending, she was about to laugh to scorn Christina, to tell her to get out of her sight, but she thought better of it closed her mouth and nodded to Christina. Christina stood up and moved to the door, she was halfway out when she turned back one last time.

"But," she said in a dangerously quiet tone, "I still do not forgive you."

She closed the door and left Hahn is in the silence of the dark room.

"Nor should you," she said to herself, "nor should you."

…………………………………….

Alex Karev stared across the table at Mark Sloan. Bailey looked in between the two.

"Uh, are you two going to say anything because those cardio freaks didn't and I wasted like ten minutes there. Besides, I think Grey and Shepard need my guidance a lot more than you two." She said, exasperatedly.

"Yeah," said Mark, "You should go to Grey's meeting, we're good here."

She got up and left leaving the two in silence.

"I hate teaching," said Mark matter of factly.

"Whatever."

Mark looked up surprised. "You know you can't just say stuff like that. I could very easily refuse to teach you and have you moved to the vagina squad or something."

"Yeah, sure. Look we both know that you are going to teach me in the end because if you don't you'll get on the bad side of Bailey, which you _really_ don't want. And the Chief won't even look at you as a successor which you also_ really_ don't want."

"Look, I didn't say I wasn't going to teach you, just that I hate teaching."

"And I just said whatever. Whether you like teaching or not is completely irrelevant."

"All right then. You know you could be a bit more considerate. Do you know how many surgeons would kill to have Mark Sloan teach them plastics?"

There was a long pause in which Alex stared mockingly at him across the table. Mark stared back, finally he said;

"Alright Karev, this is how it is going to work. You are going to be a great surgeon, you are going to be great because I am great and I am going to turn you into me. You are me already, you're arrogant, honest, and conceited. So it won't be that hard, all I have to do is teach you the skills. And then you will be my legacy."

"And what," said Alex, "Am I supposed to get out of this. I'm not like Bambi, I'm not going to let you walk all over me or Izzie, who pretends everything is going great, and I'm definitely not like Christian who's just going to grin and bear it."

"You get to be a great surgeon."

"No, I get to be your freaking puppet, your claim to fame once your looks go and you can't get anyone to do surgeries on because we all know people who want plastics wants someone who looks plastic."

"Fine, you don't want the deal, don't take it, I don't care its up to you."

"Fine, I'll take the deal on one condition. You don't mess with my friends, I don't care about Christina, she can take care of herself. But you don't sleep with, date or even flirt with Meredith or Izzie."

"What-"

"I know you haven't yet, but it's only a matter of time and neither of them can take it. Meredith is so messed up already and that would destroy every chance of her getting back with Derek. Izzie, Izzie is- she's too good for you."

"Karev you can't just-"

"That's the deal Sloan, like you said, take it or leave it, I don't care."

"No sleeping with Grey or Stevens?"

"Not even flirting."'

There was lengthy pause in which they stared at each other across the table. Finally Mark made up his mind.

"Alright Karev, welcome to the team, you have yourself a deal."

Mark held out his hand and Alex took it shaking it firmly.

"Just out of curiosity Karev why that condition."

"Like I said Grey doesn't deserve it, I know her, we're friends, we are screwed up together."

"And Stevens?"

"None of your business."

Mark and Alex left the conference room at the same time. Just before they parted Mark turned to Alex,

"I still don't like you."

"I still don't like you."

"Whatever."

"Like I said, liking has nothing to do with it."

"Right," said Mark.

"Right."

And smiling Alex and mark went separate ways down the corridor.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Meredith looked down at the grains of wood on the table waiting for Bailey to arrive

Meredith looked down at the grains of wood on the table waiting for Bailey to arrive. Across the table Derek stared at her.

"Meredith-"

"Derek," she said warningly.

They lapsed into silence again.

"Meredith I-" tried Derek again.

"Derek," said Meredith, "Shut up. This is not about us. Can you stop being selfish and arrogant and realize for one minute that this is about my future, my education about me pursuing the career I have worked hard to achieve?"

Silence. Then Bailey entered.

"Okay people lets get this over with. Grey do you have any questions?"

"No."

"Okay Shepard and concerns?"

"No."

"Anything either of you want to say to each other."

"Yes I-" Derek started but Bailey cut him off.

"About brain surgery?" she said pointedly.

"No" they both said.

"Okay then I guess I'm done here."

She stood up and left the room. Meredith began to follow suit bit Derek stopped her.

Meredith, please-"

"No Derek, not now, please just let me go."

"But I-" Derek started, but then thought better, reluctantly he stood back and meredith opened the door and rushed out of the room.

………………………………………………………………

Back in the residents common room the three recently specialize residents collapsed in chairs.

"Hahn is a mean, arrogant jerk."

"Sloan is a conceited pig."

"Derek is self centered ass."

"She thinks that I'm some sort of trophy wife of the surgery world. Did you know her excuse for being such a jerk is that she was testing me? Seriously!"

"Sloan thinks I should fall on the ground and worship him and be forever in awe of his greatness. I mean me? Seriously?"

"Derek thinks that by wanting to become a neuro surgeon it means I want to get together with him again and he used are meeting to try and talk about it. I mean our meeting? Seriously?"

"I hate Hahn."

"I hate Sloan."

There was a pause where Christina and Alex looked expectantly at Meredith and then Meredith stood up and left the room.

"Seriously?" yelled Christina after her.

"Seriously?" she said to Alex.

"She is so screwed," said Alex.

…………………………………………………………..

Izzie and Hannah returned home that night to find Alex watching surgical tapes and eting pizza.

"Alex! Turn that off, not everyone enjoys seeing someone rip someone else's face off you know."

"Oh but-" Then Alex saw Hannah's face had truned faintly green and turned the tape off quickly.

"Since you aren't doing anything you can come help me carry things in."

"How much is there?"

"Heaps, Hannah, is an expert shopper, right."

Hannah just looked tired, but it was a happy tired. They all carried things up the stairs and dumped it on Hannah an Izzie's beds. On their third trip Meredith opened her door with a bang and look exasperatedly at Izzie.

"_What_ is going on?"

"We just bought some stuff for Hannah, and her room is all."

Meredith crossed into the Hannah's room and looked at the pile of bags.

"Unicorn notebooks? Pink gumboots? A Barbie? A freaking Barbie in my house? Are you freaking kidding me Izzie?"

"Um, Mer okay I know your mad, but Hannah's downstairs so could you maybe tone it down a bit so she doesn't hear?"

Meredith looked at her for a minute then slowly collapsed against the wall.

"Sorry Iz."

"That's okay."

"It's just, it's only your third day being a Mom and you already are better than mine."

"Oh wow, seriously, you mean it okay I'm going to make you a cake."

"Seriously Iz, have you met my mother? That wasn't exactly a compliment."

"Um Meredith," Hannah said hesitantly, "um do you like the stuff I got?"

Meredith looked up and smiled tiredly, "Oh yeah Hannah, it's great. I love these notebooks, and the gumboots are great, too, especially in Seattle. Why don't you show me everything?"

Hannah, happily set to unpacking and displaying everything they had bought, running in and out of the room as she put on items to display as a one man fashion show to Meredith. Izzie looked over at Meredith, _thank you _she mouthed silently.

Authors Musings: So what do you think? I love suggestions (and reviews).


	13. Chapter 13

It was raining

It was raining. As per usual. But Izzie wanted today to be perfect. She was going back to work today and Hannah; well it was Hannah's first day at school. She got u p early and made waffles. Twenty minutes late Meredith showed up looking exhausted and grabbed a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Iz, feeling okay?"

"Yeah, just a little nervous."

"Don't worry, you'll do okay and Hannah has nothing to worry about. But Iz?"

"Uh huh."

"You know how we're all picking specialties?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well what are you going to pick? I mean you obviously don't have your heart set on any one thing, unless cardio. . . but Christina might kill you."

"Yeah," said Izzie laughing, "I was um thinking I would try doing what Addison did you know the OBGYN stuff."

"Of course," said Meredith looking relieved, "I should have thought of that, your perfect, but then who's the attending?"

"I don't know, actually I haven't done any of that stuff since Addison left."

"Well bailey will sort it out, what hours are you working anyway?"

"Um, today just from nine till two thirty 'because I want to be able to pick up Hannah and then I'm mostly working during yours and Alex's time off, but I think I'm definitely taking Saturday's off," said Izzie slyly.

"I see how it is."

'Well you did offer to help," said Izzie defensively.

"I'm joking Izzie, I like Hannah a lot and besides, I'm sure you could call in Lexie for a spot of babysitting."

Just then Hannah appeared at the door to the kitchen in her pajamas.

"Um, Izzie or Meredith, could you maybe come help me choose something to wear?"

Izzie, looked at Meredith, "Okay, um I can't really leave this with Meredith."

"Yes, you can Izzie, I'm okay, I can cook waffles."

"Yeah," said Izzie, sarcastically, "and I can fly to the moon. No you go help Hannah.

Meredith gave her a look.

"Seriously its fine, at least you have some sense of style, at least its not Christina."

"Okay then Hannah, lets seen what we can do."

Up in Hannah's room Meredith was sorting through the new clothes folded in Hannah's dresser.

"Okay, you'll want something warm today, because it looks quite cool. How about this," she said holding out a pinky red sweater top.

She looked around to see that Hannah was crying. Silent tears dripping down her cheeks as she stood helplessly on in the middle of the floor.

"Hey," said Meredith, coming over and hugging her, pulling her into a cuddle on the bed, "what's wrong, Hannah, hey, its okay come on its okay."

"I just- I just- I don't want to forget them." She sobbed, "I can't I'm not ready-"

"You're not ready to move on," said Meredith and Hannah nodded on her shoulder, "and you shouldn't be, you only lost you parents three days ago. You don't- can't move on that fast. And Izzie knows that, she isn't trying to push you."

"I- I know, I just don't want to be the sc- scary damaged kid."

"Hannah," said Meredith, "I have been the scary damaged kid for like forever, trust me you are nothing like me. You're happy, and pretty, and you smile all the time. And even if you are damaged, it isn't that bad."

Hannah, nodded but kept crying, Meredith tried desperately to calm her but with no success. Eventually Izzie, came rushing up and found them sitting on the bed.

"Mer are you two ready we-"

Izzie stopped short and rushed over to Hannah and Meredith, gently she took Hannah from Meredith arms and held her tight rocking her back and forth. Meredith quietly left the room.

"Hannah, Hannah, its okay, tell me what's wrong, its okay Hannah," she said softly.

"I- I don't want to- to- you can't replace them."

Izzie leaned back in for a moment then held her tighter, "I know Hannah, I know, do you think that's what I'm trying to do? I'm just trying to make this work. I could never be your parents, they are special, special people and you are never going to replace them, certainly not with me."

"But- but when I came downstairs this morning, it felt so- so- normal," Hannah sobbed, "and its not supposed to be ike that, not yet, not like that."

"Oh, Hannah," sighed Izzie, "You aren't doing anything wrong, your not betraying your parents, you are doing exactly what they would have wanted, you are allowing yourself to gradually move on, to live and be happy. This isn't bad, or betrayal, this is good."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Hannah, I'm 100 percent sure. Okay?"

"O-okay."

"All right then, lets get you ready for school."

Hannah, pulled on jeans and the sweater Meredith had pulled out and grabbing Izzie's hand the tow headed downstairs. Izzie blinked furiously as they made there way down, holding back tears. At the bottom of the stairs they were met by Meredith.

"You two better eat you need to- Iz, are you okay?"

"Yeah- I- um just need to fix my hair."

"Okay um Hannah, why don't you go eat."

Hannah and Meredith went into the kitchen while Izzie ran quickly upstairs, Meredith checked that Hannah was okay and then followed her. She found Izzie slumped against the bathtub tears streaming down her face.

"Iz, are you- are you alright?"

"What am I doing Meredith?" Izzie asked desperately.

"What the hell am I doing? I thought I was going to be a good mother I really did. I thought I would be great, but I can't do it Meredith – I- I can't do i-i-t," sobbed Izzie.

"You can Izzie, you can, you are a great mother, you are five hundred percent better than mine and- I- didn't even know what good mothers were until I met you. You can do this, you are not alone."


End file.
